Bridezilla in the making

I feel like I'm turning into a horrid bridezilla. I always prided myself in being fairly level headed, good at looking at things and being able to figure out a diplomatic way to deal with it, but deep down, I don't want to find a calm, diplomatic way to deal with it. I want to scream, shout, throw things, pull hair, anything to change the way things currently are going. I know that it wouldn't fix anything, and it would most likely just make things worse, it going to cause things to go just the opposite of how I'm hoping they will turn out. I don't want to make things worse, I want to fix it in the best way I can.  But maybe I should explain what led me to this so you can better understand and then judge me.

So, as you now know, June 2010 my (now) fiance I and I got engaged in Seaside, CA. Starting July, when we got back home, wedding plans began for an October 2011 wedding. The dress was bought a few weeks later, and I dove into finding the best ways to DIY as much as I could, choosing my wedding party, and researching every piece that goes into a beautiful wedding. I have yet to stop planning. Some things have slowed down since then, I've gotten into the groove and have gotten much of the early stuff done already. Part of the reception decorations have been finished and I have most of the supplies to finish them. There are some other things we'll need to pick up, but that will happen after the Christmas season when the indoor/outdoor lights go on sale. The rest we do little by little.

Me and my sister and law are going florist shopping soon, Matt is going to talk to out officiant to make sure we have him booked, and we're figuring out what we are going to do about a DJ. Like I said, it's coming along. I'll admit, it isn't always easy. Most of the time, the planning isn't, and it keeps me up late at times thinking about all of the stuff we have to accomplish still. But, we do have 10 months to do it in. So I'm sure we'll be fine. lol. The hardest stuff is already done.

So a few days ago, a friend of mine got great news. Her boyfriend proposed to her. Now, while I was happy for her, I'm also a skeptic over whether or not this is actually going to work. I think that they are jumping into something that, having only dated maybe 4 months, they are not ready for. No matter how much they inist that they are. I don't know him, but I know her. And while she can be a nice girl, since i have known her, she is the type of girl that wants to out do everyone around her. If she has friends getting dogs, she has to get one too, if they all start wearing a certain shoe, she'll buy one too. If they are getting engaged, married, and having kids, you better believe that she will be following in their footsteps sooner or later.

Now, I tried to talk to her, voice my concern that maybe they are jumping into marriage. but when she insisted that they believe that they are ready, and that this is going to work, I just went along with it. I've been helping her since before they actually got engaged with looking at wedding stuff and working on pricing, but last night she struck a nerve.

The day they got engaged, she told me that they were talking about a February 24, 2012 wedding. I made the mistake of warning her about unpredictable weather in February. She then texted the following day that they were talking either February 2012 or June/July 2011. Again, trying to be a friend, I warned her that trying to plan a June/July 2011 wedding would be very difficult. Not only trying to afford everything in such a short time, but trying to find venues, vendors and plan it all would be super stressful and more than a bit tricky. Then, last night she sent out an e-mail on facebook telling everyone about how he proposed, and that they are planning either a September or December 2011 wedding.

I felt my face heat up, my blood boil, and everything turn red before my eyes. Here, I have been planning an October wedding since July, and we decided on an October wedding at the end of June; and here she is, getting engaged November 2010 and suddenly she decides to change her origional plans to possibly plan a wedding a month ahead of mine. Another way for her to try to out do someone else that she knows. As a friend who has been trying to help her out the past few weeks, I am hurt, upset, pissed off, and any other synomym you can think of to go with those. I want to rip her hair out, at the same I time I want to sit down and talk to her about it, tell her how it hurts me that she would plan her wedding so close to the wedding I have been working so hard on. Ask her to please reconsider the September date. Show her how I can help her make a December or even a February wedding absolutely beautiful.

I know it probably sounds crazy to get so upset over something like that, but with something I have worked so hard on, stressed so hard over, lost weight over, lost sleep over, I want my wedding to work out the way I have pictured it in my head with out any confrontation from someone who was supposed to me my friend.

Woe is me. lol

That just seemed fitting.

At a stand still and dreams

So planning has come to a halt for the time being. It seems like the never ending money pit that is our life together has taken over and stopped the decoration process. Not that we don't have plenty of time to work on decorations, I mean, we do have a little over 11 months, but it was nice knowing that we had some of the work done early.

We need to plan a walk around of the grandparents' property to see how it looks this time of the year, plan for everything we'll need to do starting the spring to make it look awesome come next October, and how we are going to arrange things for set-up. It is going to take so much work, but in the end, it's going to be so worth it!

It's kind of funny looking back at what I thought my wedding day would be like back in high school. It was going to be a huge late spring/summer affair, with like 300 people; a fitted lace dress; all of my family, friends, and even some aquaintences; either down in the San Diego area or in Disneyland; and marring my ex. Very grandiose.

And, now, here I am, marrying the guy of my dreams. The guy I never knew existed, that I never knew I could be with. I'll be getting married in a cupcake dress with pick-ups that I can edit to make it what I want, in my fiance's grandparents' back yard in the foothills of California, in late October, me and my wedding party doing all of the planning and decorations ourselves, and 150 of our closest friends and family.

And, with as different as my real wedding is going to be from what I imagined in the past, I would not have it any other way. I no longer want the huge grandiose wedding with way too many people and huge expenses that would take years to pay off. The smaller, intimate backyard wedding with all of the colors is exactally what I never knew I always wanted, with the man I deep down always wanted and needed. A little piece of perfect in this crazy world we call life.

(Slightly less than) a year to go

We're down to the wire. You know the one, where all the magazines and websites start giving you a timeline of what you need to accomplish to make your big day a successful event.

It's a little sressful thinking that we actually have less than a year left to plan (only by two weeks, but still..). Sometimes it seems like nothing is ever going to come together, and other times it seems like it will all just fall into place. Or maybe that's just my wishful thinking. lol.

While visiting my sister last week, we got 8 of the candle holders wrapped in cloth and glued. We still have to add the ribbon, but that's not something I'm too worried about. Thats the easy part. We still have to decide how many tables we are going to need so I can figure out how many candle holders we are going to need, and then make sure that we have enough fabric to cover all of them!

I think thats the hardest part of plannign a DIY wedding. All of the decorations you make yourself. I mean, you enlist the wedding party and any friends that are willing to help to help tackle certain tasks, but the bride still does a lot of the work... and while trying to get decorations figured out and finished, there are a bunch of other things to worry about as well! I will definatly admit that I would love to have a wedding planner right about now. That way, everything in mine and Matt's vison gets accomplished and we have to do minimal work to get there. Only problem is that relaxation comes at a price, and we most definatly can't afford that price. We're just trying to figure out how we're going to afford the price of a simple wedding that we mostly put together outselves. lol. All in all, it seems to be coming together though. Maybe not as efficently as I would like, but coming together anyway.

Besides, how can I complain too much? I have my perfect dress. lol

Well, I'm going to try to get some sleep tonight.

So until next time, have a great day, week, and possibly month!

Happy Halloween!

Halloween is one of my favorite days of the year.

I love dressing up in something that I couldn't wear around in everyday life, and hitting the town with all of the other people who are doing the same thing.

There is something exilerating about that day, and being able to be the you that you don't normally let show, and being accepted for it!



Me as a zombie girl (after I changed out of my real costume! lol)




My fiance and I (The Corpse Bride and the Cowboy) right after we got home



Not to mention, that this year the San Francisco Giants won the World Series for the first time in 56 years (since they moved from NY to SF!! They are one of my teams. I have been a fan of them since I can remember. I have bats, opening day balls, baseball cards, jerseys, and a really old hat to round out my collection. I'm pretty sure I have a pin too somwhere, but I have no idea where it would be. So, I have to say CONGRATS to all of the guys, for doing an AMAZING job and fighting for something that so many didn't think the misfit team from the Bay could get. And especially to Nate, cuz when we got to meet him way back with the Fresno Grizzlies, he was a super sweet guy, an amazing ball player, and he completely deserves it!

My other team for those who aren't already aware are the Oakland Athletics, whom I fell in love with at my first A's game when I was 8/9 years old. Not to mention that I love some on the guys that played for them at least the 2009 & 2010 years (and for the Sac River Cats before that). They are some of the sweetest, guys you could ever hope to meet. And ones like Dallas Braden are amazing in the way they help the communities around them!

I'm so proud to call them my teams :)
I love my boys!

Back to the beginning

To really understand Matt and I, and so you can better understand some of the things we are doing wedding wise, you should probably know about us a couple. Things like where we met, some important stories from our relationship, and the story of the weekend when we got engaged. lol.

So, here goes nothing!

When Matt and I met, we had both gotten out of pretty nasty relationships fairly recently and had been dating around a bit, but neither of us were really finding anything too promising relationship wise. Maybe because a lot of people who use online daing sites are bat shit crazy, although it may just seem like it. But that's where we met, on the lovely Match.com. I'll admit, I was a little bit of a Match.com player. lol. I was talking to a few different people at once, getting to know lots of different people and weed out the guys that seemed cool from the ones that I had nothing in common with and the ones who were creepy or crazy. He wasn't the first guy I went out with from the site, but he was definatly the last.

After talking online for about a month or so, we decided to meet up and see how well we would get along in real life (since people can totally be fake on the computer... and we both had a fair amount in common. lol). We origionally decided that we would meet up the weekend before thr 4th of July, and I had another date with another guy during the week (which Matt knew nothing about at the time. lol). But, when I was watching TV on the day that I had the other date, I got a call from Matt. He was free that day and wanted to know if I wanted to go out a couple of days early! I was so excited that I went and asked my mom if I could borrow the car to go meet Matt early. Once I got the O.K.,  I got ready and I was off to Folsom! We met up at Starbucks and I suddenly felt extremely nervous. It took a while of prodding, but I finally opened up when he took my hand from across the table. We ended up turning our afternoon coffee date into a movie and dinner date as well.

Our second date didn't go quite as smoothly as we would have liked either. We had plans to go up to Sly Park, go hiking and just hang out in the nice summer weather. On my way up to his house, one of the tires on the car I was driving blew out on the freeway. So, there I was, about 30 minutes away from our second date (which we decided to do on the day we had origionally set for our first date), and I couldn't find anyone I knew that could get to me. So frantic, I call Matt to let him know that I was broken down on the side of the freeway, and I couldn't find anyone to come rescue me. We finally got in touch, I explained my situation, and he was on his way to my rescue.Lucky for me, a nice gentleman helped me change my tire so I could get off the freeway before Matt got there. Matt being the gentleman he is, followed me all the way back to my house, going all back roads, to make sure that I made it home fine and then from there we went in his truck to go enjoy what was left of the day and the following day.

From then on, we spent what free time the two of us had, and what time I got to use the car to see each other. In March, I got a job not far from where he (and now I) live and I moved in... although I'm still slowly moving my stuff up from my mom's house. lol.

June 27 we left the golden hills of California for the beautiful California coast and Seaside/ Monterey. I some how managed to talk Matt into giving me my anniversary present when we finally got down to our hotel rather than waiting the extra day for our actual anniversary, especially since not only did he know 100% what he was getting, but I gave it to him before we left. I had a good idea of what he was going to get me, I was super excited, but also super nervous. We decided that we would go down to the beach after we got to the hotel and relaxed a bit from the long drive. When we were getting ready to go down to the beach he was trying to figure out how to bring my present with us, but without me knwing what it was he got me. We finally went down to the beach and after getting a little away from all the people and the washed up dead seals, we found a nice place in the sand to sit and watch the waves. After sitting there for a little while, he asked if I wanted my present, and when I said yes, he pulled the ring out of his pocket and asked me to marry him. After he realzed that I hadn't actually answered him, he asked if I was going to say yes, so I answered with an "absolutely". For dinner we decided to go all out, and so we went to the Chili's right down the street from where we were staying. lol. We spent the next couple of days enjoying all the tourist attractions that Monterey has to offer, and we took massive amounts of pictures (5 rolls of 24 each!).

From then on, the rest is history. Slowly planning the wedding and enjoying being together; something we get to do for the rest of our lives. :)

And some pictures to share from Monterey and before:



Making chocolate cover bananas when we first started dating

Outside Walmart at about 1/1:30am playing in the snow Dec/Jan 09-10

Playing with goggles for snow mobiling Feb. 2010

Us in Seaside, CA right before he proposed!





A picture I took of my ring while we were in Monterey!



To budget or not to budget

As I mentioned before, we are planning a decent sized wedding on a budget.

With this post, I intend to give you a better idea of what I mean.

Most couples that you hear about in magazines, on the internet, etc. discuss a budget together that they try very hard to stay at or, preferably, under.

Some succeed, some don't, but I'm not sure too many people have a budget quite like ours.

You see, when Matt and I first got engaged four, very short months ago, we talked about a budget that we would like to stay at. Knowing that we we're going to probably foot a good portion of the bill ourselves, we settled on $5,000 maximum budget. Not too long after starting to look into what we would need to do to make this event work for about 150 people, my darling fiance decided to change the wording on our budget.

Rather than tell people that we have a $5,000 budget, it has evolved to we technically have no budget, but that it should be as "cheap" as we can make it.

Well, maybe "cheap" isn't the word since it gives off kind of negative connotations. A better word would probably be inexpensive. lol.

Cutting what corners we can, making what elements we can, having close friends do food and cake, and playing the numbers game with vendors has been our M.O. since we really started to get into the process.

Is it really the best way to plan a semi-formal, back yard event? No, probably not. Although, the very informal way we're working through it is very us. lol.

Now it's getting through the next year without anyone loosing an eye, me turning bridezilla, or us running off to Reno for last minute escape the mad house, lets just eloping run. lol. I just hope everything comes together and everyone comes out of it unscathed and all in one piece. lol

Starting with my next post I'll be doing some background posts, so you can kind of get to know us as a couple before I really jump back into wedding plan posts. Although depending on what goes on, I may have a few thrown in for good meause!

Good night for now! I'll write again tomorrow.

About the girl and the boy

I'm not sure who all will read this, but in case you don't know me already, my name is Kelly.

(I'll introduce the boy a little later.)

I am a California girl born and raised. And I lived all of my life in a few of the small towns that Northern California has to offer, and I have loved every minute of it.

I am an aspiring photographer, current retail associate (although those are just fancy words for a cashier. lol), and fiancee to an amazing guy.

The boy is Matt, and he is truely the love of my life.

Also a California boy, his heart lies on either the shores of the East Coast, or in one of the last wild states that the US has to offer.

An aspiring law enforcement officer of some sort, he is willing to move us anywhere that offers us both a chance at full time work to help build our future together... preferably outside of California. lol.

We are currently planning our October 2011 wedding, which is pretty much why I am wiriting this blog. It is going to be my way of keeping track of everything. The sweat, the tears, and the laughter. The accomplishments, the stress and possibly some failures (hopefully not too many of the last one!). I'll update as things go wrong, things go right, I get things accomplished, or find out that there is even more that needs to be done than I thought. lol.

So, I welcome anyone who chooses to take the ride of planning a small town wedding with me.

I can't promise it will always be incredibly entertaining, although I will try. But I can promise that it will be an adventure, and maybe be able to help someone else who decides to stick themselves trying to plan a decent sized wedding on a very small budget!