I feel like I'm turning into a horrid bridezilla. I always prided myself in being fairly level headed, good at looking at things and being able to figure out a diplomatic way to deal with it, but deep down, I don't want to find a calm, diplomatic way to deal with it. I want to scream, shout, throw things, pull hair, anything to change the way things currently are going. I know that it wouldn't fix anything, and it would most likely just make things worse, it going to cause things to go just the opposite of how I'm hoping they will turn out. I don't want to make things worse, I want to fix it in the best way I can. But maybe I should explain what led me to this so you can better understand and then judge me.
So, as you now know, June 2010 my (now) fiance I and I got engaged in Seaside, CA. Starting July, when we got back home, wedding plans began for an October 2011 wedding. The dress was bought a few weeks later, and I dove into finding the best ways to DIY as much as I could, choosing my wedding party, and researching every piece that goes into a beautiful wedding. I have yet to stop planning. Some things have slowed down since then, I've gotten into the groove and have gotten much of the early stuff done already. Part of the reception decorations have been finished and I have most of the supplies to finish them. There are some other things we'll need to pick up, but that will happen after the Christmas season when the indoor/outdoor lights go on sale. The rest we do little by little.
Me and my sister and law are going florist shopping soon, Matt is going to talk to out officiant to make sure we have him booked, and we're figuring out what we are going to do about a DJ. Like I said, it's coming along. I'll admit, it isn't always easy. Most of the time, the planning isn't, and it keeps me up late at times thinking about all of the stuff we have to accomplish still. But, we do have 10 months to do it in. So I'm sure we'll be fine. lol. The hardest stuff is already done.
So a few days ago, a friend of mine got great news. Her boyfriend proposed to her. Now, while I was happy for her, I'm also a skeptic over whether or not this is actually going to work. I think that they are jumping into something that, having only dated maybe 4 months, they are not ready for. No matter how much they inist that they are. I don't know him, but I know her. And while she can be a nice girl, since i have known her, she is the type of girl that wants to out do everyone around her. If she has friends getting dogs, she has to get one too, if they all start wearing a certain shoe, she'll buy one too. If they are getting engaged, married, and having kids, you better believe that she will be following in their footsteps sooner or later.
Now, I tried to talk to her, voice my concern that maybe they are jumping into marriage. but when she insisted that they believe that they are ready, and that this is going to work, I just went along with it. I've been helping her since before they actually got engaged with looking at wedding stuff and working on pricing, but last night she struck a nerve.
The day they got engaged, she told me that they were talking about a February 24, 2012 wedding. I made the mistake of warning her about unpredictable weather in February. She then texted the following day that they were talking either February 2012 or June/July 2011. Again, trying to be a friend, I warned her that trying to plan a June/July 2011 wedding would be very difficult. Not only trying to afford everything in such a short time, but trying to find venues, vendors and plan it all would be super stressful and more than a bit tricky. Then, last night she sent out an e-mail on facebook telling everyone about how he proposed, and that they are planning either a September or December 2011 wedding.
I felt my face heat up, my blood boil, and everything turn red before my eyes. Here, I have been planning an October wedding since July, and we decided on an October wedding at the end of June; and here she is, getting engaged November 2010 and suddenly she decides to change her origional plans to possibly plan a wedding a month ahead of mine. Another way for her to try to out do someone else that she knows. As a friend who has been trying to help her out the past few weeks, I am hurt, upset, pissed off, and any other synomym you can think of to go with those. I want to rip her hair out, at the same I time I want to sit down and talk to her about it, tell her how it hurts me that she would plan her wedding so close to the wedding I have been working so hard on. Ask her to please reconsider the September date. Show her how I can help her make a December or even a February wedding absolutely beautiful.
I know it probably sounds crazy to get so upset over something like that, but with something I have worked so hard on, stressed so hard over, lost weight over, lost sleep over, I want my wedding to work out the way I have pictured it in my head with out any confrontation from someone who was supposed to me my friend.
Woe is me. lol
That just seemed fitting.
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